Disappointment

I struggled whether to put this post up but I figure this is my blog and it's about what I'm feeling and what's going on in my life. I didn't post it initially when I wrote it because I thought it was a bit caustic but I saved it anyway. I think that after having a couple of days to think about it I'd post it. It's not like it isn't the truth.

Have you ever been in love with someone and forgiven or seen past all their faults yet it's never enough for them. They think that because you love them they can walk all over you over and over. One day you wake up and realize it doesn't matter what you do or say this person will always disappoint you because no matter how much they talk about improving deep down they don't really think they need to. They see themselves as perfect because if you feel in love with them than they must be some hot shit and someone else will want them. They seem to have this inflated even if it's fake self esteem. They seem to believe that everyone else that they've hurt have wronged them not vice versa. They'll go to therapy and tell their therapist half truths and lies because they don't want the therapist to tell them the truth. That they are full of shit. The truth hurts. It's painful to face reality that you are a fucked up dysfunctional asshole who is so self centered they can't look past the fun he's going to have that night or weekend. Therapy only works if you realize you have emotional issues that you want to resolve. It doesn't work if you want reassurances that you aren't a manipulative pathological liar that you are. And of course when they wake up and realize that they are all alone and it sucks not having the best thing in their life they try coming back sniffling and crying crocodile tears asking for forgiveness. I'm tired of being disapppointed.