Patty's Annual Christmas List

This year I decided to keep it simple and cheap cause of the economy and all that. I've got my health, happiness and all that jazz so I can't be any happier. Ok, I can always be happier but I'm not going on those damn pills no matter what the doctor said. I like my huge highs and lows. How else would I know I'm happy and/or sad if I didn't have a minor breakdown every other day? I know what you're thinking no I'm not crazy just special. Anyway I haven't really been updating my blog lately but I promise if Santa brings me a new camera with a working flash I will definitely post more often. No Santa isn't Bryan. Better not be. Guys here's the list of stuff I need not want.

1. Black socks so you can’t see my toes when I wear open toed shoes or take off my shoes. Yes, it’s happened to me and it's a bit embarrasing and using dirty socks isn't sexy. Long and short ones are good.
2. Cheese plate. Made of wood so I don’t have to borrow Isabel’s and than take two weeks to get it back to her.
3. Black leggings from American Apparel. I have two pairs and they are always dirty and one pair has a hole in it. They would definitely be loved and used regularly.
4. Winter white tights not leggings. I’d prefer some Spanx cause my ass is huge. Yes, I’ve put some pounds on and my wish came true. I’m now a proud owner of a big juicy ass.
5. Gold Lame tights from American Apparel. Ok I don’t really need these but how bad ass would they be to wear to a game?
6. Some of that ROCK nail stuff from Sally’s. Yes it causes birth defects but it makes your nails look shiny for a while and protects the color so my pedicure last a couple weeks longer. Yeah the nails get long but the color is still rocking.
7. Lingerie wash bag. I’ve been washing everything in Hand Wash mode but I don’t think my clothes are getting clean. Work out clothes don't do so well in hand wash mode especially if I decide to eat that greasy taco in my work out clothes.
8. Hot rollers. Yes, I would so love to curl my hair old school style. I’ve seemed to lost all of my natural curl so I’ve got to get them back the old fashioned way. Heat
9. Pizza tray- Can you believe I don’t own one? Since I love to make homemade pizza dough with my copious amount of free time I definitely need one. Ok, I don’t make it I pick up fresh dough at Whole Foods for about $3.00. I’m not fucking Martha Stewart you know.
10. Booze- Yes, I like the fire water in any form. I’m a big fan of Absolute New Orleans & Grey Goose. I also need some vermouth in case I wanted to make a martini for my grown up friends. Yes, I have some and if you are reading this it's probably not you.. I’m also in need of some wine preferably Pinot Noirs, Pinot Grigios, & Pouilly Fusses. Ok, let’s not kid ourselves I love all wines except the kind in boxes. Call me a snob. Although it does work in a pinch for making Sangria. I’m also a fan of the Cava preferably in multiple bottles.
Bonus Items: The tray from Ikea that’s made of glass and has several compartments to serve different things in it. Just broke it last night. Also I’d like some round serving trays. Also need outfits for Rico my friend for the upcoming holidays like Mardi Gras, Valentine’s Day etc. Do you know Rico?